From pitch black diaper changes to tips to clean up puke, dad considers starting boot camp to train first time fathers

VIGO COUNTY, Ind. (FTN) – A local dad says he is batting around the idea of starting a ‘New Dad Boot Camp.’

36-year-old Chris Essex is the father of three-year-old Alex.

“Can you go on a miles long hike where your toddler refuses to walk midway through? That recently happened to me, and I really wished I had gone through some basic training. I was physically not ready,” Chris said.

Alex stands almost four feet tall and weighs in at 50 pounds, which made the walk more challenging, Chris told us.

“That walk just opened my eyes. Have you ever made a bottle without your glasses on…in the middle of the night? How about changed a wet diaper, while your baby sleeps…and not wake them up? You need to be ready for situations like that,” Chris said.

He went on to list several of the new dad specialities he would be teaching.

  • Cleaning up puke without baby wipes or a towel
  • Tips for getting puked on right before work…and not having to change shirts
  • How to pretend like you are in a really deep sleep when the baby cries, so your wife will take care of it
  • Changing a poopy diaper with only one wipe
  • Field stripping a sippy cup for a quick drink reload
  • Expert level stroller breakdowns
  • Different routes around the store to avoid the toy aisle
  • Shopping for snacks that you can also eat
  • How to read the same book over and over while staying sane
  • A class on jokes NOT to make with your toddler’s doctor (examples: NyQuil dosage amounts, how much whiskey is okay to give your kid when teething)
  • How to mentally prepare to be okay when you get poop on your hand
  • Safely driving and working with only one hour of sleep

Chris said nothing is set in stone yet, but the idea is to prepare first time dad’s.

“The week long course, which involves cleaning up thrown food…and dorm style sleeping, where an alarm goes off every couple of hours at random. Men that sign up will be forced to go to work still, just so it can add to the realism of the class,” Chis said. “All of the TVs will have either Blippi or Thomas the Tank Engine on.”

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